Happy People don't Cheat
We were both settled in comfortably on the cozy couch under the gorgeous mulberry trees. Her backyard always had been one of my favorites in Las Vegas. So was the Goddess I was with that evening.
I knew the sanctuary she built for herself was a rare gem in this desert oasis. It had taken her years upon years to create such space I can only imagine the dedication and love it took to accomplish this task. The combination of beautiful vegetation, the delicious smelling seasonal flowers with plenty of cactuses
surrounded us that night greatly reducing the effects of the hot summer night. As usual her generosity was over the top, we had a wonderful bottle of Pinot Noir accompanied by a feast fit for the most elite on a very artsy coffee table in front of us to be enjoyed throughout the night.
It had been a long awhile since it was just the two of us, usually there would be all sorts of people gathered around her living room, kitchen and in the backyard.
We had shared many soul to soul moments with each other under the spell of a softy glomming porch light being comforted by our knowing each other intimately for over a decade.
As usual our conversation bounced between the subjects like, other girlfriends, our children, her tennis, my business, her husband and finally the most delicious part of the night where I happily shared about my new boyfriend whom I met on match.com literally a couple of days after signing up.
For the rest of the night we talked about both of our past relationships and their effects on our lives as well as my new relationship.
I knew all about her “DEEP SADNESS AND DISSATISFACTION “ along with her struggles in her current relationship with her long time husband. Like many from outside she looked like she had it all. A beautiful home in an exclusive neighborhood, four healthy children, a nice looking husband, stunning looks, tons of friends, a membership in a country club and plenty of money to sustain it all.
She often spent most of her time with her equally impressive girlfriends. For as long as I have known her she always had a housekeeper, a yard guy and army of others who was contracted to help maintain her desirable surroundings.
But above all she had one of the kindest hearts I had ever known. She was kind to everyone. Kids, adults, elderly the underdog, the overachiever. In our circle she was very well known for being the ” connector “ in our circle.
Although not as intimately I knew her man and while I had heard about some of his shortcomings from her as well as others. I also had firsthand knowledge of her own struggles as a wife and as a mother. Of course I tried to stay away from judging their relationship especially since I had always had my share of struggles with the same things.
I couldn't tell you if it was her thinking or her circumstances that were causing her the biggest hard ache but I will say for the large part of the last ten years she had not been very happy. When we were alone she would often cry and express a desire to leave her marriage but soon would happily settle back in her hopeless state of living with unfulfilled desires of wanting to love and to be loved passionately by someone else.
While listening to her I usually detected a sense of longing for a more intimate relationship where she could experience love like she once had decades earlier and I believe just like most of us who are caught in the that web of longing she may have forgotten that if we wish to experience the bewildered states of love itself, we must be willing to leave the comfort of the familiar.
Unlike her my issue with the boys was usually boredom. Over the years I had endless strings of boyfriends and she knew most of them.
By the time we downed a couple of glasses of wine and it was time to say our goodbyes she gave me a warm hug and told me “YOU LOOK SO HAPPY “ my friend. I am delighted for you.
The very next time I saw her was at an open house at my shop. As usual she looked beautiful, seemed happy, socialized with everyone and not only bought a few pieces for herself she encouraged others to buy some of my custom made jewelry as well.
She was great at things like that.
When we got home that night my boyfriend informed me that he felt very uncomfortable being at my event and when I asked, why?, he answered you have “weird friends”. I laughed and said, “I loved my weird friends!
They are just like me.
After a minute or so I asked what happened and when he happily shared one of them kissing his neck a couple of times I was a bit disturbed
Incident made him uncomfortable and a bit confused since he was introduced to everyone as my new boyfriend.
I told him that I noticed some of the girls who were chasing him around the room and had a good idea who may had the balls to do what they wanted to do. After he confirmed who it was I immediately had a big aha moment.
“TRULY HAPPY PEOPLE DON'T CHEAT” I thought to myself, nor do they want to steal other people’s love. At least this was true in her case. She isn’t the sort of a person who would be after other people’s guy just to have them for herself or just because they were jealous, however she was getting increasingly unhappy and like many people before her in a desperate state she thought my transparent happiness couple of weeks earlier in her backyard came from him.
And who did not want happiness for themselves.
Now what I considered unusual behavior all made sense, why she was calling and texting me constantly inviting me and my boyfriend to go to her house over since that night.
She wanted to FEEL THE WAY I felt that night and I can’t fault anyone for that.
She may have forgotten the truth but it is still fresh in my memory. Yes, the contentment and the happiness I felt that night may have had a lot to do with him but it was also due to the magic of the night. It was the atmosphere, the intimacy, the trust, the openness and even the undeniable effects of the wine and yes of course it was also my inner happiness radiating outward which created a desire for her to OBTAIN THE FEELING I was feeling that night.
To have it and keep it. Most of all she had forgotten the FLEETING nature of our feelings, including the feeling of happiness.